Wish

Each time I wake up,  
whether in the late mornings or early noon,
I have to tell myself not to cry nor scream 
"why am I still alive"...I am dying inside.

It's not that I am sick 
but I feel sick to get my butt off the bed 
and be a person. I am not a good person..
selfish, loathing, and full of regret.

All I ever want is to disappear, 
And to mute the Devils in my head. 
I want to free people from the burden 
of keeping me alive and lively.

Everyone says God is good, 
He will understand even though 
the people who I live for won't.

I am bound to be forgotten 
because I am cruel to myself. 
I smell death just right around the corner. 
It's just waiting for me to snap.